Directed by Hans Petter Moland
Starring Liam Neeson, Laura Dern, Micheál Richardson, Michael Eklund, Bradley Stryker
In this violent tale, we find out how
Liam Neeson, who drives a snowplow,
In the cold, snowy mountains near a remote little town
Goes after the Mob and mows them all down.
As in most of his movies, he needs a reason to kill,
So quite early on his son gets killed
By evil drug dealers who make Liam so mad
That he gets the old violent urge really bad.
So he kills him a pusher, armed and all,
And throws him over a waterfall.
Then he pants like Super Grover
Before he tosses another one over.
The bad guys eventually begin to notice
And they blame it on the nearby Dakotas,
Or Cree, or Huron, or maybe Apache.
I’m not really sure, so don’t even ask me.
The bad guys kill the son of the Chief,
And in doing so start up a whole new beef.
You see, the Indians and the Mob were in league.
They were allies, and not enemies,
But that simple act put them at war,
And things would not be same as before.
Liam, meanwhile, has been taking a liking
To the idea of killing a man named Viking.
He’s the Mob boss who just killed the Chief’s son.
He’ll do a lot more killing before he is done.
The Indians plan to nab Viking’s little boy,
But Liam’s the first to grab the boy,
And takes him to his house for some chow
And teaches him how to drive his snowplow.
The next day, Viking comes after him,
And Liam lies in wait for him.
Then the Indians show up, too,
And a grand shootout then ensues.
Though most of the villains end up dead,
The Chief and Liam survive till the end.
They relax together in a moment of inaction
And neither killer gets punished for their actions.
This predictable plot never runs out of tricks,
So I’m giving it three stars out of six.
Since my rating of three stars will need some explaining:
Though it wasn’t very good, it was entertaining.