Fantasy Mission Force
Directed by Yen-Ping Chu
Starring Jackie Chan, Brigitte Lin, Jimmy Wang Yu
Abraham Lincoln has been kidnapped,
Though it’s not the one we know and love–
Rather, it’s a Chinese General–
No, not the one you’re thinking of.
Actually, four generals get taken
By the Japanese military
Sometime during World War II,
A predicament quite hairy.
The top brass try to figure out
A model rescue plan.
They briefly consider sending in Rambo,
But he’s too busy a man.
As usual in films like this,
The typical thing to do
Is to assemble a ragtag group of misfits
To prove their loyalty true.
In this case that’s two Scotsmen,
A con artist, a woman,
A homeless man and a man who can
Escape from rooms in which he’s thrown.
That’s the general premise.
The plot is so much more.
We see spirits. We see Amazons
That are separate from the online store.
Jackie Chan’s part isn’t big,
But it’s memorable and fun.
He’s the fellow you’ll remember
Years after you’ve seen this one.
It’s a silly little movie
That you’ll never need to see.
The characters never take themselves
It’s an amusing timewaster
That leaves you wanting more.
I’m giving it a decent
Two out of four.