This is Part 4 of my ongoing reviews of movies featuring Sylvester Stallone Getting Framed and Sent To Prison.
Judge Dredd
(1995)
Directed by Danny Cannon
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Rob Schneider, Armand Assante, Diane Lane, Max von Sydow
Rating: ******
4/6
These two just wish they were as cool as Dredd.
In this exciting science fiction,
Stallone is framed and sent to prison.
He plays a supercop of course,
This time a judge named Dredd, of course.
A riot starts in the nightly cycle
And Sly drives up alone on a motorcycle.
“I am the law,” he says without jest.
“You are all under arrest.”
All you need to see is this
To discern what kind film this is.
The baddies all shoot at Mr. Stallone,
Who decides to enter a building alone
Rob Schneider gets scared.
And kill all the bad guys that he finds,
Except for Rob Schneider, who’s hiding inside
A robot, so he wouldn’t get shot.
Stallone arrests him for breaking the ‘bot.
Dread is the best judge alive in that day,
But it turns out that he shares the exact same DNA
With an evil judge who frames him for a heinous crime,
And Stallone goes to jail to serve some time.
To make the story a little wider,
He breaks out of custody with Rob Schneider,
Dredd gets framed.
And goes on to prove his innocence,
And kills the bad judge in the process
How does this film rate against his better ones?
It’s really absurd and dumb but fun.
It contains some of the dumbest lines ever committed to screen,
And does no favors for the actors onscreen.
Stallone’s acting is its one saving grace,
For he says all his lines with a very straight face,
Telling us he believes that he is the law,
And we never fail to say “ha”.
No sequel was made. You don’t get any more.
I’m rating this silly, dumb film a four.
Will Stallone prevail?