Lone Wolf McQuade

Evil hoss russlers.

Lone Wolf McQuade
(1983)

Directed by Steve Carver
Starring Chuck Norris, David Carradine, Barbara Carrera

Rating: ******
4/6

Chuck Norris as a champion
Was formidable and expressive.
Chuck Norris as a leading man
Was somewhat less impressive.

Chuck sees them.

In smaller roles, as part of the cast,
He could be memorable and good.
In contrast, as a leading man,
He gets more movies than he should.

This is because, in general,
Though he has good posture and can stand,
His acting skills are lacking.
His personality is bland.

Chuck sees a bad guy.

For that reason, he’s sometimes paired
With a sidekick like Steve James,
Someone who can outact him,
But tread lightly on his dreams.

This film is an exception.
It’s good from start to end.
Well written and directed,
It made the audience attend.

“You’d better say your prayers, Black Bart.”

The first time we see Chuck,
He’s filthy, lying in the dirt,
Watching some bad guys through his scope,
In silence almost curt.

Sitting behind him, pretty close,
Is a beaten-up Dodge RAM,
Looking like its been to Hell and back,
Carrying that bearded man.

“Down from the Heavens descended Chuck Norris.”

A beard? That’s right! It’s the first time that
We see him with a beard.
He sported a ‘stache in his last few films,
And had been clean shaven for years.

This new look rather suits him.
His new beard makes him look tough,
And the cowboy hat he’s wearing
Makes him look a little rough.

“Me being filthy doesn’t affect you being dead.”

He plays a Texas Ranger,
Much like he would do later,
In the television series,
Catching russlers and raiders.

He jumps into his vehicle,
Which tears through the desert nonstop,
For it has a souped-up engine,
And a solid supertop.

His trusty steed.

The supertop’s important,
As we’re later to find out.
Something so unique on a big Dodge Ram
Needs a raison d’ être, no doubt.

We see him catch the bad guys
And then go into town.
He meets a pretty woman
Whom he came across and found.

His amazing muscles.

Lurking not too far away
Is David Carradine.
He plays the evil villain,
With a mean and evil team.

What he’s doing doesn’t matter.
He’s there to face off with Chuck.
He buries him alive in his own Dodge Ram
But he won’t believe his luck.

The girl.

Chuck sips a beer, puts his truck in gear
And revs it up to full.
Then he drives right out of the cold, hard ground.
(It’s good that his tank was full.)

As good as Chuck Norris fits into his role,
David Carradine matches his better.
As the scummy and murderous martial arts guy,
He’s evil right down to the letter.

Evil and mean, David Carradine.

By the end of the film, they go toe to toe.
Who do you think will win?
It’s good vs evil, an age-old trope.
Will spoiling this fight be a sin?

Rumour has it that David and Chuck
Really went at it for real,
But I’m unsure because it looks rather staged,
And has a Hollywood feel.

Nevertheless, for this Chuck Norris film,
I’m giving a four out of six.
It’s better than average for a Chuck Norris tale.
It’s a more than watchable flick.

Their long-awaited battle.

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