1
May 15 2017

Batman and Robin
Will fight the evil Joker
During Springtime tea.

2
May 12 2017

The ants go marching
Along their straight Autumn path
Till they get eaten.

3
May 13 2017

A small killer laughs.
He eats his vegetables.
In Fall he is tall.

4
May 14 2017

An old blind man pees
In his neighbour’s leftovers.
What a simpleton.

5
May 15 2017

Unable to breathe,
I drift through the airless void
To my own demise.

6
May 16 2017

I protect myself
With a jacket in the Spring.
Supernova kills.

7
May 17 2017

The leaf spirals down
Deep into the toilet bowl.
She washes her hands.

8
May 18 2017

Hippopotamus:
That big, angry animal
That just stomped on me.

9
May 19 2017

There are times when I
Have to replace a haiku,
And times when I don’t.

10
May 20 2017

Back in Africa,
I paddle for all I’m worth
From the hungry natives.

11
May 21 2017

King Tutankhamun,
Eating sweets and sleeping in,
Overindulges.

12
May 22 2017

The red antelope
Dies of a Summer heat stroke.
He spoils nastily.

13
May 23 2017

I spent all of my cash
On a woman named Autumn.
Now I’m a pauper.

14
May 24 2017

Which is more correct:
Men are better than women
Or Laos is rich?

15
May 25 2017

A thief plays football
On a team called the Steelers.
The cops can’t catch him.

16
May 26 2017

A teabag gets wet.
Now its strong flavour seeps out
And stains the carpet.

17
May 27 2017

Nothing is nowhere.
It cannot be seen by Smurfs.
(Yes, I’m rather tired.)

18
May 28 2017

He wears a red hat
On his bald, regal forehead,
And very little else.

19
May 29 2017

The planet explodes!
I’ll have to tell my captain
I flipped the wrong switch.

20
May 30 2017

Dick Tracy and Pat
Are trapped in a fire.
How will they escape?

21
May 31 2017

Batman and Robin
Are trapped in a fire.
(Why are you frowning?)

22
June 1 2017

Lois Lane and Jim
Are trapped in a fire.
(What? What did I say?)

23
June 2 2017

Spongebob and Patrick
Are trapped in a…trap.
Ha! I fooled you there.

24
June 3 2017

Some words are too big
To fit into a haiku,
During a full moon.

25
June 4 2017

I have now written
Twenty-five rocking haikus.
Just three-four-zero more.

26
June 5 2017

A man in great debt
Cannot enjoy the sunshine
That warms his forehead.

27
June 6 2017

The dolphin is sick.
His upheavals flow north-west,
Towards my lunch date.

28
June 7 2017

Walmart is immense.
A body of such size is
Larger than myself.

29
June 8 2017

Ahead of his time,
Ugg, the first caveman found
The first number prime.

30
June 9 2017

A beetle moves forth
From a stump in the forest
To beside your porch.

31
June 10 2017

Tigers awaken
To the ear-splitting music
Of Ed Van Halen.

32
June 11 2017

A tired young man
Attempts to sleep on a bus
While loud people screech.

33
June 12 2017

An armless beggar
Picks up pennies with his toes
And spends them on booze.

34
June 13 2017

The woman has hats,
Far, far too many to wear,
But still she wears them.

35
June 14 2017

If sleeping pills work,
Why are they called “sleeping pills”?
Do they malfunction?

36
June 15 2017

My haikus differ
Much from the traditional,
But so freaking what, man?

37
June 16 2017

A ladybug flies
Slowly down a garden path
Sprayed with pesticides.

38
June 17 2017

In a grocery store
Black bags are labeled as green.
People still buy them.

39
June 18 2017

Tarantulas crawl
On your face as you’re asleep.
I don’t disturb them.

40
June 19 2017

I look down her shirt,
Trying to glimpse some cleavage.
I’m disappointed.

41
June 20 2017

Cleaning the bathtub
Is a lot easier said
Than to do it well.

42
June 21 2017

A paper towel
Taken from the dispenser:
My new possession.