Shanghai Knights

Shanghai Knights

Directed By: David Dobkin
Starring: Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Donnie Yen

Rating: ******

I hate this film.
I think that it blows,
And yet it’s the kind of film that I chose.

The first one was good.
I had liked the orig.
So I watched this one seated next to the fridge.

Because it has Jackie!

Eleven minutes in
I looked at the clock.
The lead, Owen Wilson, had started to talk.

His mouth began spouting
Nonsensical stuff.
Four minutes of this
Was more than enough.

What about Jackie?

He kept going on,
Never shutting up once,
While Jackie Chan stood
Around like a dunce.

By the end of this film
You’ll be hating them both
For putting you through
This film that you’ll loathe.

How could you, Jackie?

This maddening film
Was not at all fun,
Which is why I’ll be
Giving it only a one.

What’s wrong with Jackie?
Why do this, Jackie?
What’s up with Jackie?

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