Space Jam

Space Jam

(1996)

Directed by Joe Pytka

Starring Michael Jordan, Wayne Knight, Theresa Randle

Rating: ******
              1/6

Michael Jordon dazzling us with his baseball skills.

Space Jam is a travesty
Involving the legend Bugs Bunny,
That’s not in the least bit funny,
And starring Michael Jordan.

In fact, the entire film,
Marketed as a Looney film,
Is really a sports hero film,
Focusing on Michael Jordan.

The characters from Looney Tunes,
Though looking shiny and polished like silver spoons,
Are showcased no better than mindless goons
In the context of the story.

Aliens come to Earth.

And the story…

We see Michael Jordan as a child small,
Who grows up to play basketball,
Then quits so that he can play basketball,
Which leaves him bored and feeling sorry.

Some aliens land on Planet Earth,
And nearly take over for what it’s worth,
But give the inhabitants a chance to save the Earth
Via a one-time basketball match.

The Looney Tunes and Michael J
On one team would be paired this way,
With the aliens as their enem-ay,
Would try not to bite and scratch.

We meet Bugs Bunny, a cartoon character.

Naturally, to save us all,
They have their game of basketball,
And *spoilers* the aliens lose it all,
And the good guys save the world,

But is this movie a giant boon
That correctly depicts the Looney Tunes,
Thus making fans of the series swoon,
Giving animation and live-action a whirl?

Not at all, as you’ll soon see.
It wasn’t meant to bring people glee,
But rather to deprive them of their cash money,
Without much elegance.

And Nedry, another cartoon character.

Michael Jordan and the team
Are really very badly teamed,
With little or no chemistry,
And they insult our intelligence.

The characters we know and love
Don’t feel like those we know and love,
Or act like those we know and love,
Because the producers didn’t care,

And this lack of care can be felt throughout,
As these animals always run about,
With nothing they say carrying much clout.
I give it one-star, so there.

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