The Disaster Artist
Directed by James Franco
Starring James Franco, Dave Franco
This film is a companion piece
To a movie called The Room,
A world-renowned melodrama
Made in 2002.
That movie’s two lead actors
Are now played on the screen
By two well-accomplished brothers,
With one directing all the scenes.
The story begins with a shy young man
Acting on a stage.
His teacher starts to question
His inexperience and age.
The shy young man says sorry,
And he promises to try,
And then he sits back down again,
And they watch another guy.
This new actor shows his fearlessness
As he gets up on the stage,
For he begins to overact,
And to gyrate all over the place.
He really puts his soul in it,
And flabbergasts those watching
Whereas another man might’ve embarrassed himself,
He ignores the people watching.
The audience is stupefied,
For never had they witnessed
A performance so atrocious
Within the acting business.
When finally he sits back down,
The entire class is stunned.
With the exception of the shy young man,
Who has found his Chosen One.
When class is out, he takes a chance,
And meets this mystery man.
He says, “Hello. My name is Greg,”
And firmly shakes his hand.
The man says, “Hi, I’m Tommy,”
In an accent hard to place.
He says he’s from New Orleans,
And he studies the other’s face.
Greg tells him that he yearns for
A collaboration soon,
For which both men would simply
Act together in a room.
So the men read lines together,
And Greg learns to open up.
His shyness quickly vanishes.
A man grows in the place of the pup.
The two become good friends
And move down to Hollywood.
They begin contacting agents,
But their efforts don’t do much good.
They continue to face rejection
Everywhere they turn.
It appears nobody wants them.
It was a hard lesson to learn.
Finally, Tommy says
That he’ll no longer wait.
They would go and make their own film.
They’d be the masters of their fate.
He writes a peculiar screenplay,
Filled with plot holes aplenty,
Along with dialogue so bad,
It should have destroyed on entry.
The plot makes little sense to Greg,
But seeing the resolve
In the well-aged features of his friend,
Decides that their friendship won’t dissolve.
He agrees to make the movie.
Then they go on an adventure.
They bring in many people
That could help them on this venture.
They get cameramen and actors,
And also line producers,
And makeup girls and wardrobe girls,
Set designers and prop users.
Tommy hired a few good people,
So it wasn’t a total mess,
And it helped that all the crew there
Really tried their best,
But most of the performances
Were several marks below par,
And with Tommy’s overacting,
They further lowered the bar.
We see Tommy being difficult
With all the people there.
We watch him storming and shouting,
Standing with no underwear.
Yet, despite some of the problems,
The sequences get filmed,
But not before some friction
Starts with the man who’s had it helmed.
Greg gets angry with him,
And accuses him of lying.
He asks his age and place of birth,
And gets false answers for his prying.
Thus, Greg calls it quits with him,
And leaves the lying jerk,
But many months later,
Tommy visits him at work.
“Hi, Greg!” he says. He tells him that
The movie is completed.
He wants them to go to the Premiere,
Where the crew can all be seated.
So they arrive in style, dressed to the nines
In a long, white limousine.
They arrive too soon and circle the block,
Despite the fact that they were seen.
The lights are dimmed, the screen lights up,
And silence fills the crowd.
If the slimmest pin were to suddenly drop,
Its echo would seem loud.
Tommy is nervous, with sweating palms.
The moment of truth is here.
Would people like his movie?
He would have to face his fear.
It starts out slow. He hears a laugh,
Followed by another few.
In time, the sound of laughter
Fills the entire room.
The more the film continues,
The more jolly people get.
It’s all bad news for Tommy,
Since they aren’t halfway through yet.
The longer this goes on,
The greater pain he fells.
He put in time and money, sweat and love
–And they were laughing through the reels.
His cheeks get damp, and finally
He decides he has to leave.
Outside, he bows his head and cries,
Dampening his sleeve.
Then he feels a hand on his shoulder.
His friend Greg had left, too,
But Greg had not been crying.
He looked concerned instead of blue.
“You think that you have failed,”
Greg confidently speaks.
“You think that all that laughter
Means your movie’s really weak.
“You think they’re making fun of you,
And just laugh because it’s bad.
Come back with me inside again
And I’ll show you something rad.
“Listen to that laughter!
Their joy can’t be contained!
How many movies have you seen
That were this able to entertain?
“I think its reputation
Will increase bit by bit,
And if you truly persevere,
You might have yourself a hit.”
At these words, Tommy smiled,
And he regained his strength.
He marched back into the theatre,
With his best friend to thank.
When the movie ended,
The audience applauded and they rose.
Tommy made a short speech,
Riding highs instead of lows;
And history was made that day,
Thanks to the determination
Of a man named Tommy Wiseau,
And his friend Greg, for inspiration.
For films of 2017,
This is one of my top picks.
It entertained on every level,
So I’m giving it a six.