The Evil That Men Do

The Evil That Men Do
(1984)

Directed by J. Lee Thompson
Starring Charles Bronson

Rating: ******
              4/6

Charles Bronson’s at his best
When he’s killing people,
Especially if some of those
Are quite repugnant people.

How evil is this movie’s villain?
Well, the first time he’s onscreen,
We see him torturing a man
And listening to his screams.

The room is filled with seated people
From many different nations.
The Doctor, as this man is called,
Is giving a demonstration.

It appears that he’s an expert
At breaking people down.
He has used his knowledge and his tricks
To earn himself great renown.

He’s held in such very high esteem
That one of his new chores
Is charging lots of money
To instruct paid torturers.

Yes, every man in that room
Is there for the same reason.
Either they do the work themselves
Or delegate their squeezin’.

We then see Charles Bronson
In a warm part of the world.
He’s a happy retiree
Who will see this plot unfurl.

A foreign woman visits him
And asks if he’s for hire.
She needs a paid assassin,
Even one who had retired.

She shows him a portfolio
That she had brought when she arrived.
It’s filled with the Doctor’s evil deeds,
And his many ruined lives.

Charles Bronson doesn’t like
The Doctor, it is plain.
He agrees and has a new excuse
To go and kill again.

His task will not be easy.
The Doc’s protected by some guards.
He’ll have to kill them one by one
Before he can get within a yard.

So he visits a nearby town
That’s in range of the Doctor’s car,
And has himself a look around
As he enters a local bar.

He spots a tall, fit black man
With eager, open eyes.
He pretends he hasn’t seen him,
And sits down with his “wife”.

The woman who came and hired him
Has lost some close kin.
For her, this trek is personal.
She will work alongside him.

This starts to seem like a bad idea
When Charles goes to get them drinks.
A large and evil Aztec man
Sits in Bronson’s chair and winks.

He puts his arm around the girl
And gloats at his success.
He defiantly sneers at Bronson,
And fiddles with her dress.

Bronson sizes up this man
And stalls for a little time
Till he comes up with the best stratagem
In the best scene of all time.

“I give up! I give up! You are the Pumaman!”

He grabs the big man’s testicles.
I guess that’s nothing new,
For shots to the balls are quite common in films,
And in some Disney movies, too,

But Charlie doesn’t just grab his balls.
He squeezes them like fruit.
He twists and pulls and mashes them,
While he gives his neck a boot.

Pressing on his windpipe,
He spends more time that he ought
Crippling this giant man
With whom he’d briefly fought.

Finally, he lets him go,
When the man’s too weak to scream.
The black killer applauds him,
For he loves what he’d just seen.

He invites them to his table,
And asks them why they’re there.
Charlie tells him that they’re tourists
Looking for adventure here and there.

The Doctor’s guard has a good idea
For some fun the three can share.
He suggests they have a threesome.
Charlie holds his hand to show he cares.

Charles Bronson’s biggest fan.

He invites them back to his place,
An apartment, I will note,
And when they get towards the bathroom,
He gets a dagger in his throat.

The man’s incensed! He looks betrayed,
And tries to reach the man who retired.
Charlie calmly points a gun
And waits till he expires.

One less pesky fan.

That’s just the first of several kills
Bronson succeeds in fulfilling.
He’s full of resolve and determination.
He’s ready, eager, willing.

The Doctor quickly wises up,
And he comes after him,
Putting our hero on the defensive,
So that he might not win.

Luckily, that region’s populace
Consist of all the wretched souls
That were tortured by the Doctor,
So their revenge upon him unfolds.

This was a decent action flick,
With Bronson in top form.
Thus, I shall be giving it
Out of six, a four.

His victims are coming.

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