The Farmer’s Wife
Directed by Alfred Hitchcock
Starring Jameson Thomas, Lilian Hall-Davis, Gordon Harker, Gibb McLaughlin
This silent film’s really great.
With Hitchcock stepping up to the plate,
He adapted a play
So we can watch it today,
And others, it’s fine,
In one hundred years’ time.
This film is here to stay,
For it is quaint and sublime.
A timeless comedy it has been,
Timeless because human beings
Can’t change their own nature,
No matter their stature.
They drink the same beers
And they shed the same tears,
But they look the same and they seem
To share the same joys and same fears.
The farmer is played by an actor,
The centerpiece of this story’s reactor.
He decides one day, since his daughter has wed,
That it’s getting too lonely not sharing a bed,
And decides that he’s ready to alter his life,
So he sets about finding a wife.
Though he feels a light in his head,
His day will be giving him strife.
The farmer lacks tact and lacks class,
And comes across as a bit of an ass.
The first woman he greets
He leaves convulsing in shrieks,
For she cannot but laugh,
Thus igniting his wrath,
Making this prospect seem bleak,
So he alters his path.
When he visits the next woman’s house
He finds a woman as quaint as a mouse,
But when he begins trying,
She starts into crying.
He upsets her so much,
He feels out of touch,
So he does his goodbying,
And leaves her as such.
The next woman’s dwelling is rather generic.
When he takes his leave of her, she’s in hysterics.
When he withdrew his card,
He had caught her off guard,
And he left the grounds
As she screamed the house down.
He left her yard
With his nose to the ground.
The farmer returns alone,
And the women all meet in a home.
Far from delirious,
They see that he’s serious,
And remember back when
They had once had a man.
They begin to get curious,
And want to try their luck again.
When the farmer had returned to his farm,
His servant–from the house, not the barn–
Heard his story pathetic,
And became sympathetic,
Gave him a hug,
Giving his heart a tug,
So his adventure frenetic
Was swept under the rug.
I enjoyed this movie, I did.
At no time did I want to get rid
Of this time-honoured classic,
With a story fantastic.
I’m giving to this
A five out of six.
It’s a little bombastic,
And can give you your kicks.