The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

Jennifer Lawrence is back for more.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

(2014)

Directed by Francis Lawrence
Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Donald Sutherland, Julianne Moore, Josh Hutcherson

Rating: ******
              2/6

The Hunger Games are set in a future dystopia.
Which the government tries to call a utopia,
For they’re in control of all media forms,
And thus establish all cultural norms,
And deliver naught to its folks but pains
Except, of course, for the Hunger Games.

Whatshisname thinks.

It’s a reality show, of sorts,
To distract the people from discussing war.
They’ll watch a group of candidates
Fighting each other for the highest stakes,
For only one person gets to win,
And food is scarce, so they might get thin.

Get used to that look.

When the hero of the story comes onscreen,
It’s revealed she’s Katniss Everdeen,
A bow-carrying hunter played with flair
By a Jennifer Lawrence with brown hair.

In the first two movies, she’s down to Earth
And keeps her cool when things get worse,
And uses her wits to stay alive,
But in this third film, you’ll have wished she died.

The big, bad government is doing terrible things.

In this film, she really likes to pout
And scowl at people with her droopy mouth,
And treat her ex-boyfriend like she’s made of ice.
Why? ‘Cause she just won the Hunger Games Twice.

This event, while it raised her stature,
Seemed to change her very nature.
Whereas she’d always been planning and using her head,
Now she just moans about Peeta instead.

Peeta on TV.

Who’s Peeta? He was her game partner, dude,
For they were together on the tube,
Managing to survive and win everyone’s hearts,
But he got captured in the last part.

So now all she does is waste away
As she watches him on TV everyday
And wishes more than anything that he were near,
And that’s the impression she makes very clear.

JLaw, glued to the tube.

She’s living with the Rebellion now,
And they want her to lead the People’s row
And overthrow their mean old leaders…
So she treats them all like bottom feeders.

“Peeta is more important to me
Than everyone in your community,
And everyone else in the nation as well.”
And her boyfriend knows this all too well.

“Whatcha thinkin’ of, Katniss?”

He wasn’t happy when she joined the games,
Or concocted a story for her own gain
That she and Peeta were deeply in love,
A tactic to gain the audience’s love.

Still, he might have let that slide,
Reasoning that they otherwise might have died,
Were it not for her focus on this bloke
And bringing him up every time she spoke.

“Why, Peeta, of course!”

On the set, Peeta has been heard to condemn
All and any resistance to them
–By “them”, I mean their overlords,
The folks who try to control the hordes.

The Resistance has a leader for sure,
And she tries to be really patient with her,
Saying “if you do this little thing for me,
“Me and my boys will set Peeta free.”

“Uh…Peeta?

Katniss does little work and continues to sulk,
But the Resistance is desperate and needs a Hulk.
There are no other candidates who will do,
So they do all they can to lighten her mood.

Her boyfriend at last gets sick of her crap,
Volunteers for a mission and starts to pack.
He’ll bring back Peeta even if he’s in Space,
Maybe that would wipe that look from her face.

“What else would be on my mind?”

He succeeds in his mission and gets little thanks
As she runs up to Peeta as if she’s been yanked,
And nearly lets him choke her to death.
He’s been tortured and looks like he’s strung out on meth.
He gets hit on the head and tied up like a dunce,
With an unconscious Katniss, silent for once.

The movie ends with her still as a Cheetah
Longfully staring at poor little Peeta.
We see that what she cares about more than her boyfriend’s health
Is obviously Peeta and herself,
And we get to leave this slow-moving mess,
To Jennifer Lawrence on PMS,
And to Peeta, whom we didn’t hate until now.
This boring film gets a two from its stern to its bow.

“Peeta’s so forceful.”

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