Army Of One

Nicolas Cage is watching TV at the bar.

Army of One


Directed by Larry Charles

Starring Nicolas Cage, Russel Brand, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Amer Chadha-Patel

Rating: ******

Gary meets a pretty woman.

Nicolas Cage,
With a samurai sword,
Goes after bin Laden
When asked to by the Lord.

By that description alone,
You’ll hate it or love it.
If you can’t die till you’ve seen this,
You’ll probably love it

I’m one of the latter.

Cage plays Gary,
The real-life man
Who went to find bin Laden
In Pakistan.

They have dinner.

He meets a love interest
Named Marci Mitchell
With a special-needs daughter
Who thinks he’s invincible.

Russell Brand
Plays a being named God,
Commanding Gary to do things
That must seem rather odd

To any sane person,
But therein lies the key,
For he has taken leave
Of his sanity.

Gary gets instructions from God.

They partially addressed
His mental problems
By telling us about
His kidney problems.

When his kidneys act up,
And he neglects to take pills,
He hallucinates
Till his prescription gets filled.

We see him do things
Like navigate a ship
On the large open ocean,
But it’s too short trip.

He decides to pilot a ship.

That’s because Gary
Has never done it before
He goes wildly astray,
And lands on a Mexican shore.

Then he takes a flight
To a nation near Pakistan
And tries to paraglide
Straight into Pakistan.

He falls and gets hurt
And when he’s patched up,
Not the least bit deterred,
He gets right back up.

He gives paraglidng a try..

Returning to Pakistan
He rents a room quite fab,
Picks up his sword,
And hails a cab.

His adventure begun,
He begins to have fun,
As he asks around
For “The Bearded One”.

This movie made money.
It’s hardly a flop.
Nic Cage’s performance
Was way over the top.

Osama bin Laden, in the flesh.

He is zany and crazy
And rides camels, not cars.
This movie deserves
Five out of six stars.

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