Best F(r)iends vol 1

Greg Sestero in a bloodied shirt.

Best F(r)iends Vol. 1


Directed by Justin MacGregor

Starring Greg Sestero, Tommy Wiseau, Kristen StephensonPino

Rating: ******

Greg Sestero from The Room
And Retro Puppet Master
Teams up again with Tommy Wiseau,
The Artist of Disaster.

Please give.

This time they made a two-part film,
A fascinating thrill-o-rama
In contrast to their previous
Notorious melodrama.

The film starts out with a silent Greg
Homeless and down on his luck,
Wearing a bloodied T-Shirt
And looking like he was hit by a truck.

Beware all who enter here.

We’re not told what befell him,
And have to sit and guess.
He cannot remove his only shirt,
Else he’d be partially undressed.

He holds up a sign, different each time,
That he uses to beg for change.
Then one day he meets a man,
One who seems very strange.

Tommy Wiseau with a coffin.

Tommy Wiseau plays an odd little man
Who drives up to Greg in a hearse,
And asks him if he wants some work,
And if so, then he’d fatten his purse.

Greg nods yes. He doesn’t speak.
Perhaps he’s forgotten how.
He gets in the hearse of this strange man,
Who controls his movement now.

“Come and help me with this, Jon.”

They end up in a part of town
Greg’s never seen before.
Tommy gets out and moves the wall,
Which it turns out is a door.

He drives his hearse inside the gate
And solicits the homeless man’s help
To bring the coffin inside his house,
A task very new to the whelp.

“I make masks for people.”

Greg assists him as he works on the body,
And watches as he makes a mask,
A mask which he places on the face
Of the dead man at the last.

He explains that he wants his customers
To look their very best.
From their hands to their arms to their toenails,
From their shoulders and arms to their chests.

“And steal their teeth.”

He models some of his detailed masks
From Hollywood’s past elites
—People like Marlon Brando and James Dean—
And implies that it’s no easy feat.

When the day is done and the work is complete
Tommy thanks his newest temp.
Greg leaves with some money and an unbloodied shirt.
‘Twas a day that he couldn’t have dreampt.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

He spends some money on a meal,
And also on razor blades.
He works up the courage to see Tommy again,
And drafts a speech over several days.

He cleans himself up and looks really nice
And finds his way to Harvey’s shop.
(Harvey’s the character played by Tommy Wiseau.
Jon’s the guy with the bloodied top.)

“I had forgotten what food tastes like.”

They meet again and Jon begs him for work,
And Harvey welcomes him back.
They go on to become very good friends,
And for the plot details, that is that.

I’ll lay down no more spoilers for the movie’s first half,
Buy the plot thickens up like a stew.
The twists and confusion just keep building up
Till we’re immersed in this mystery, too.

“Much better. ‘I thank you for inviting me to your daughter’s wedding…'”

Then we’re left hanging. We’ve run out of time.
We don’t learn of the characters’ fates.
All we can really do at this point
Is just to be patient and wait.

What shall I rate the first half of this film?
I think that I’ll give it a four.
I was drawn along by the narrative,
And it left me wanting more.

“You need a job? Maybe I can give you one.”

Join me next week for my review
Of Best F(r)iends Vol 2!

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