Blackkklansman Review Pt. 2



(For Blackkklansman Part 1, click here)

“I don’t always have to miss.”

Felix tells Flip to drop his pants
And points to his polygraph.
If he finds out that Flip is a Jew,
This visit will be his last.

Felix points his gun at him,
And Flip says he’ll take a pass.
Listening in, and quickly thinking,
Ron hurls a rock through his glass.

“Duh…do not worry, never fear. Robin Hood will soon be here.”

They rush upstairs and fire at Ron,
Who drives away in a flurry.
That could have been the end of Flip
Had his black Klansman friend not hurried.

Now that they’re all convinced that he’s white,
His Klan membership papers get processed.
It’s taking a while, and fearing a delay,
Ron calls their national office.

They meet in Felix’s house.

The man who answers the phone is the head of the Klan,
A man named David Duke.
Ron expresses dismay at his slow processing times
And David hurries him through.

They become phone buddies. When one of them calls,
The other would always call back.
What Mr. Duke fails to notice
Is that his phone buddy is black.

“You have to drop your pants to join our crew. I’ll see whether or not you’re a Jew.”

The plot is finally uncovered,
A stupid plot, I will add.
The local Klan is given some C4
From two members who work for NORAD.

With the C4 they build a small bomb,
Set off with a battery filled with hydro.
Made with stable explosives you can kick down the street,
They handle it as if it is nitro.

“This is a lie detector. First question: are you a Jew?”

Their set off date is the day David Duke
Pays them a personal visit.
Both Ron and Flip Zimmerman
Are sent to monitor Mr. Duke’s visit.

The department assigns the black Ron Stallworth
As Mr. Duke’s police bodyguard.
While there, he gets to view a secret Klan ceremony,
As Ivanhoe goes full retard.

“Someone broke our window!”

The Klan doesn’t seem to mind in the least
That a black man is in the same building,
One who could easily eavesdrop on them,
Just like Mr. Stallworth is doing.

A bit later on, we meet an ex-con
Who was coincidentally sent to the slammer
By none other than Mr. Zimmerman.
The news hits Flip like a hammer,

“Let’s kill him!”

But there’s no time to waste because Felix’s wife
Is busily planting a bomb.
The black Ron Stallworth goes to stop her,
And it does not take him very long

To see her standing on the porch
Of his bespectacled student girlfriend,
Trying to stuff the bomb in her small mailbox,
So his lover will soon meet her end.

NORAD C4 smugglers.

She spots him and tosses the C4 bomb
Right under the girlfriend’s car.
Ron tackles her like a quarterback.
Two white coppers are not very far.

The wife says that Ron’s raping her
And the two men start beating him up.
If not for the arrival of Flip Zimmerman,
Mr. Stallworth’d be whipped like a pup.

Ron speaks with David Duke, then head of the Klan.

The bomb goes off just as Felix arrives
With the ex-con in the passenger seat.
They conveniently park right next to the bomb,
And experience an explosive defeat.

That was the first climax of the film.
We experience several more.
One involves the cops shredding their files,
For publicity might shake the department to the core.

“Oh, honey, we’ve always wanted to kill them coloured folk, but we just never had the C4.”

The second involves Ron getting a call
From Mr. David Duke again.
Ron laughs at him and tells him he’s black,
And succeeds in belittling him.

This is not the end, you see.
Join me next week for Part 3!

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