Deck The Halls
Directed By: John Whitesell
Starring: Mathew Broderick, Danny DeVito
I like Danny DeVito.
I have his posters on my walls.
For this reason I chose to watch
The movie Deck The Halls.
The premise sounded funny–
A man puts up some Christmas lights,
And they can be seen from Outer Space,
Because they are so bright.
Because of this his next-door neighbour
Wishes that he’d die,
So they always argue over
Who’s the better Christmas guy.
The premise does sound funny,
But the plot is paper thin.
The gags are forced and awkward,
And both lead characters are dim.
It’s another Christmas movie
About selfish people fighting.
There’s no tenderness or sweetness
Or a moral message hiding.
Each scene is easy to predict,
The dialogue atrocious.
The characters are unlikeable.
The leads are just like roaches.
By the time you’ve finished watching it,
That feeling in your soul
Isn’t joyous Christmas spirit.
It’s hatred, pure and full.
This film was made for dollar signs.
There’s no attempt at warmth or heart.
No one’s trying to please anyone,
And it shows in every part.
I suggest you avoid this movie,
No matter what the season.
I’m giving it a one out of six,
And I have already given my reason.