This is Part 5 of my ongoing reviews of movies featuring Sylvester Stallone Getting Framed and Sent To Prison.
Directed by Mikael Håfström
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Caviezel
Sylvester Stallone has worked hard all his life,
And has earned rather than robbed.
Thus, I’m happy to announce
That he has landed his ideal dream job.
In many of the movies that he has made,
His character ends up in prison.
Sometimes he breaks out.
Sometimes he’s let out.
Sometimes he leaves and he’s missin’.
Once he’s characters are free,
They seldom go back to the slammer,
At least not in the very same film.
They might wait for the sequel to stammer.
Well Sly’s character in this film,
A guy named Ray Breslin,
Works for the FBI,
And always get sent to prison.
He gets paid to go in, he gets paid to break out,
With a fake past that’s always quite checkered.
In spite of the fact that he’s always in jail,
He does not have a criminal record.
His excuse for this work
(An excuse is what it is)
Is to test each prison for security holes.
When he finds one, he leaves and comes back with his boss,
This time as Authority roles.
He’ll say if you fix this he will not be able
To break out the same way again.
So he leaves and they fix it, perhaps just in time
To receive him in their prison again.
All is going well for Sly
Till he is approached by a stranger.
The man wants him to try and break out of his jail,
Assuring him he’ll be in no danger.
Sly jumps at the chance, especially since
He had not even seen it before.
When he’s told it’s inescapable,
His interest is piqued even more.
What he doesn’t know yet
Is that he’s been framed,
So his friends at the FBI
Won’t start a search to go looking for him,
Even if he might die.
Stallone wakes up in a fancy new prison,
And he’s told that he’ll never get out.
Happy, he can’t believe his great luck,
And he begins to look about.
This prison cost billions of dollars
And is filled with VIPs.
Instead of being run by the State,
It is owned and run privately.
Where is this prison? Stallone doesn’t know,
So he searches around for some buds.
He meets an Arnold Schwarzenegger with punier muscles.
Sly is more muscular for once.
Arnie tells him he’ll help him Escape.
All they need is a Plan.
Stallone’s chest swells up as he realizes
That Arnold has asked the right man.
They do some conspiring and Stallone sees his chance.
He climbs up a ladder to freedom.
Up at the top he opens a latch,
And sees he’s only part-way to his freedom.
He finds himself on the top of a ship
That’s smack-dab in the middle of the ocean.
The entire prison is attached to this ship,
Hidden under the waves of the ocean.
A bit disappointed, yet bowled over with awe,
He climbs back down to his cell.
He’s now in need of a better plan,
And a lot more assistance as well.
If you haven’t yet guessed it, this prison warden
Is a man of diabolical evil.
He’ll do what it takes to keep Ray Breslin in.
He’s played by Jim Caviezel.
Though it takes most of the movie to find a way out,
Ray does, with the cons in the joint.
They had managed to contact outside allies,
And succeeded, more to the point.
Stallone clears his name, and the warden gets his
…And they’d live happily ever after,
If it had not been successful enough for another two films.
Might the third one be a disaster?
I’m giving this film a four out of five.
I’ll review Chapter Two next week,
But between you and I, I truly believe
That this trilogy, in this film, hit its peak.