Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) Directed by David Yates Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert GrintRating: ******
5.2/6
The Dementors attack Dudley, Harry’s cousin, fat and scared. He’s lucky Harry Potter Has always come prepared. He repels the eerie Dementor With a spell that does just that. Then he goes to school And gets expelled for doing that. At the end of the last movie, Voldemort returns, With a brand-new physical body, And more powerful, we learn, But the Ministry of Magic Chooses to pretend That Voldemort has not come back, For he met his tragic end. They send in a new teacher who really teaches the kids Essentially nothing practical, And fills their minds with fibs. She’s supposed to be teaching them self defence Against the cold Dark Arts, Evil magic that, when cast, Will decidedly leave its mark. Instead, she tells him that they’re fine, And will always be protected By the Ministry of Magic, No matter who’s elected.
Harry hates this teacher, And the teacher hates him back. She makes his life quite miserable, So he goes behind her back. He starts a little prohibited class Where he teaches the real stuff, Like how to counter lethal spells By folks who think they’re tough. The teacher, Dolores Umbridge, Is so vile and pretentious, She’s hated by this series’ fans And it’s certain that they meant it, But I counter that she is the greatest Villain Harry has to face, Even worse than Voldemort, Because she’s in a safer place. As a good guy, as a teacher, As one of society’s pillars, She has a lot more weight and pull Than Magic’s most vicious killer, Which is why she is even more despised, Because no one in power Will willingly get in her way, Or even contest her power. I’m giving this movie an extra point two For giving Harry such a challenge. Thus, it gets a five point two For spearing us with her talons.
