Rob-b-Hood

Rob-B-Hood

(2006)

Directed by Benny Chan

Starring Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao, Michael Hui, Louis Koo

Rating: ******
              2/6

Jackie and his cat burglar partner.

Rob-B-Hood is a disturbing film.
I’m warning you right now.
There’s a scene at the end
That you can’t pretend
Wouldn’t cause gasping from a crowd.

Michael Hui and Jackie Chan
Play two cat burglar friends.
One day they see
A little baby
And decide to take him with them.

This is because a Triad boss
Hires them to do it,
But something goes awry
And they must stay behind
And have to babysit.

The plot is supposed to be somewhat amusing,
With the two men flailing at
Tending to the needs
Of the little baby
Who lack experience with that,

But the humour, alas,
Is mediocre at best,
The general plot just okay,
But that scene at the end
Will make your hair stand on end.
Tell your children to please stay away.

Jackie obviously tried something different,
And he did gain a little success.
The action is good,
The choreography good,
But the violence goes into excess.

They play with the baby.

It turns out that the Triad boss
Is a man without much mirth.
A saddened father
Lost his daughter,
Who died in childbirth.

The baby is his grandson,
And he built a frozen tomb,
In which he, himself,
And the baby’s self
Would die inside this room.

When the thieves finally realize
This suicidal plot,
They work like mad
To defy the dad
Using all the skills they’ve got.

To save the baby they have to fight
The boss’s many henchmen.
A kick, a flip,
A punch, a twist,
Do little to these henchmen,

But they have to hurry. They can’t run out of time,
For they race against the clock.
A little too late,
They save him too late,
For the baby’s heart has stopped.

Jackie Chan comes up with a plan.
With the baby in his arms,
He hooks up his body
To a live car battery,
And gives the infant’s heart a charge.

This saves the life of the little tyke,
And Jackie and Yuen are relieved.
These two scenes,
Once they have been seen,
Are the most shocking scenes conceived.

Jackie has a fight with policeman Yuen Biao.

They take the endangerment
Of a baby to extremes,
Graphically,
And shockingly,
Presented as if almost obscene.

For that one reason,
I will not recommend this.
My rating for you
Is but a two.
It’s really a film you won’t miss.

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