Shaolin Wooden Men

Shaolin Wooden Men
(1976)

Directed by Chi-Hwa Chen

Starring Jackie Chan, Chun-Erh Lung, Kang Chin
Rating: ******
              5/6
Young and mute, Jackie joins the Shaolin Temple.
A young, mute, Jackie Chan
Is invited to train with the Shaolin.
He’s forced to exercise all day long
To make his body very strong.

Jackie can barely walk up the stairs,
And he struggles to keep up with his peers.
A barrel of water on each side
Weighs down each and every stride.

The stairs are numerous without the weights,
And he has to do this all day long, every day,
Step-by-step, to strengthen his thighs,
And this is just basic exercise.

The Shaolin Temple has a special room,
As a place to test one’s own Kung Fu.
It’s filled with wooden men that attack
And the challenger is forced to fight back.

If one’s skills aren’t strong enough,
One can lose his life.  It’s pretty rough.
Jackie sees one challenger fail
With injuries that make him pale.
His exercises feel more like punishments.
A mute Jackie keeps to himself
While he slowly tries to better himself.
One day he discovers a man in a cage,
One who had been there for many days.

This prisoner is able to speak,
And befriends the young Jackie.
He begins to teach him some good Kung Fu,
Which Jackie practices, and uses, too.

There comes a day when Jackie Chan
Decides to take on the wooden men.
He wins, quickly, in less than thirty
Because his master taught him how to fight dirty.

“Go for the eyes.  Go for the nads.
Go for the throat and the adrenal glands.
Use every which way to win,
And you will be a champion.”

This is the start of this young man’s journey
To rid the world of a little tyranny.
It’s a very good story that raises the bar.
It’s getting a well-deserved five stars.
He meets his imprisoned master.

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