(1980) Directed by Dick Lowry Starring Loni Anderson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ray BuktenicaRating: ******
4/6
Two years before Conan, Arnie’s career Was sporadic, and when he’d appear, It was usually in comedies, Along with some drama on TV. He had yet to find his breakout role, Though Pumping Iron made him known. This film was another attempt To further his career a few percent. Arnie’s not the star of this pic. He’s the costar and narrates this flick. He plays Jayne Mansfield’s real life beau, A man named Mickey Hargitay, so you know. Mickey was once a muscular model, And continued as a fitness pro. He begins the story of Jayne Mansfield's life By showing us the car accident that took her life. It was 1967, in the midst of bad weather. Jayne Mansfield, a movie star, is in a car together With her driver, who decides to drive Towards a vehicle of an enormous size.
What they failed to contemplate Was that when they tried to stop it would be too late. A collision takes them out. Now we learn what Mrs. Mansfield was all about. She’s a young, single mother, at first, Because she puts her dreams first. She wants to be a movie star, Like Marilyn Monroe, and to get just as far. Loni Anderson from WKRP Plays Jayne’s pretty perfectly, Which is both a blessing and a curse, Because her wonderful acting makes this movie worse. Jane had an insufferable way of speaking, Which was really squealy, baby speaking. She spends much of the movie being heard Making noises that really get on one’s nerves. To get famous, she invents a look And a speech and a laugh that certainly took The world by storm back in the day. The intelligent Jayne really thought of a way To create much publicity for herself, But the thing is, she thinks too much of herself. She’s not very likable in this flick. She’s selfish and childish, and not just a bit. Arnie plays a good supporting role As her Adonis boyfriend. It’s not his best role, But it kept him employed in this turbulent time When he actually had to sit down and learn his lines. Though the performances are all very good, I wasn’t liking the film as I should. I’ll give it a four out of six, not ten, But I doubt that I’ll ever watch this again.
