The Mouse That Roared

The Mouse That Roared

Directed by Jack Arnold
Starring Peter Sellers

Rating: ******

This little-known gem was a low-budget piece
Starring the late Peter Sellers.
He played a man who broke the peace,
And rose to victory with his fellers.

Peter Sellers as the Duchess of Grand Fenwick

He also played a number of other roles
As you’ll discover as you watch.
His performances, as usual,
Are certainly top-notch.

There’s a country called Grand Fenwick.
It’s the smallest in the world.
They’re secluded in the mountains
Somewhere on European soil.

Peter Sellers in multiple roles.

Most governments are unaware
That this place is there.
They mostly think Grand Fenwick wine
Is just a name pulled from the air.

But that wine is their only import.
It is whence their money comes.
And when the Americans produce a counterfeit,
All their revenue gets taken from.

Their export, Grand Fenwick wine.

To get back in the black,
Their government decides
To declare war on the USA,
And to lose instead of hide.

It seems that every country
That loses to the States
Ends up getting subsidized.
They collect taxpayer waste.

Grand Enwick wine, the American counterfeit.

Now the Dutchy of Grand Fenwick
Had not warred in a while.
They had antiquated weapons
And gear and fighting style.

This was to their advantage,
Since they were poised to lose.
They sent some soldiers in Medieval gear
To the States, where they got confused.

Where is everybody?

The city streets were empty.
There was no one to surrender to.
They all went for a little stroll,
Not knowing what else to do.

They didn’t know it at the time,
But the people were underground.
The city was having an air raid drill,
And it involved the entire town,

The Q Bomb.

Except for one old scientist
Who knew it was a drill.
The longbowmen discovered him
Working with a will.

His tinkering was important,
For it might have helped win the Cold War.
He had just finished the Q-Bomb.
It could destroy a continent or more.

The scientist and his daughter.

The longbowmen abducted him,
And his pretty young daughter, also,
And brought them back to Grand Fenwick
And took them to the castle.

The reigning lord was none too pleased
That they had won their war,
For how would they get subsidies
If they were the victors?

This was a clever little story,
But the director could have given more.
I liked this little movie,
So I’m giving it a four.

Grand Fenwick wins the war!

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