The Tuxedo

The Tuxedo

Directed by Kevin Donovan

Starring Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Isaacs
Rating: ******

When a film starts out with a deer pissing, you know you’re in for a special treat.
It was only a matter of time, it’s true,
Before Jackie Chan played someone with no Kung Fu,
No knowledge, no skills, no small recollection,
Just an ordinary man after a thorough inspection.

As a normal guy, he finds a suit,
An expensive-looking tuxedo suit,
As high-tech as that worn by Iron Man.
Computerized robotics now control Jackie Chan.
Jackie, as a normal, everyday man.

He gets mixed up with international spies,
And the fancy suit really saves his hide.
He meets an American spy who helps him out,
And together they save the US from drought.

It’s really a by-the-numbers flick.
There is little point in seeing it.
I’ll give it a four.  It’s just all right,
But there are better things to watch at night.
In the Tuxedo, Jackie is extraordinary.

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