(1925) Directed by Tod Browning Starring Lon Chaney, Mae Busch, Matt Moore, Victor McLaglen, Harry EarlesRating: ******
5/6
The Unholy Three, With Lon Chaney, Is a silent horror That all should see. Four sideshow freaks Decide one week That in burglary There can be no defeat. So, they retire in time For their life of crime, Using the motto “What’s yours is mine.” Lon Chaney’s a clown Who’s never down When his female acrobat friend Is around. Unfortunately, It isn’t he Who visits her In her nightly sleep. A strongman, lean, Is on their team, Though it should be said He’s somewhat mean, But not as mean as A small little man Who kick small kids in the teeth When he can.
All four combined Rob houses blind When the sunlight proves Too hard to find. The only two (I’ll admit too few) With a conscience Are the clown, and the girl, too. The midget and The big, strong man, Are murderers Who will take what they can. In a deleted scene That can be no longer seen, A three-year-old child Is murdered onscreen. Lon Chaney, meanwhile, Is plenty riled By his love’s fascination, So, he gets him jailed, Framed for a crime He didn’t do this time, The man faces death If the jury says fine. Will he be hanged? Is this what we’ll see? I’d say, but I’d spoil The Unholy Three. It’s a nice little horror You can pull from your drawer Of home video movies When you hear my score. I’ll give it a four Plus one more. You’ll be glad that you watched it. I shall say no more.
