Liam and his wife enter Germany.



Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra
Starring Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones, Aidan Quinn

Rating: ******

Liam Neeson had a wife,
Had a wife, had a wife.
She was the great love of his life,
Before his fateful car crash.

Liam goes into a coma.

They both arrived in Germany,
Germany, Germany.
They got a hotel in Germany,
But left something at the airport.

Liam went to get it back,
Get it back, get it back.
He took a speedy taxi cab,
Which fell into the drink.

Liam awakens.

The taxi driver pulled him out,
Pulled him out, pulled him out.
Then the paramedics came about
As he slipped into a coma.

Four days later he awoke,
He awoke, he awoke,
With no ID and mostly broke,
He went to find his wife,

“Remember me, honey?”

But she was with another man,
Other man, other man.
A well-dressed, not-as-handsome man
With his credentials and his name.

Now no one believes his words,
Believes his words, believes his words.
The cops think he’s a looney bird
Who thinks he’s someone else.

“Who are you? This other man is my husband.”

But Liam Neeson knows the truth,
Knows the truth, knows the truth.
If he has to fight with nail and tooth,
He’ll show them who he is.

Should I spoil a little more,
Little more, little more?
Should I spill its contents on the floor,
Or keep you in suspense?

Liam’s identity is Taken.

If I mention that he overcomes,
Overcomes, overcomes,
Reducing his problems to soggy crumbs,
And lives to tell about it,

Would you say that I’m critic dirt,
Critic dirt, critic dirt,
For giving you such a spoiler alert
About this movie thriller?

Nobody believes him.

If that’s the case I’ll shut my trap,
Shut my trap, shut my trap.
I had no idea you’d give a crap.
The hero…maybe makes it?

I’m giving this particular film a three,
Film a three, film a three.
I recommend that you just see it for free.
It’s no more than popcorn filler.

“I can sense the farthest reaches of the ocean…with my DNA.”

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